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This page will soon be full of half-listenable and fully-listenable mp3's. What could such disparate things have in common? They are all free. If these mp3's were people, it'd be total anarchy. Please share and laugh, but only behind our backs.
Animal Names l Two Versions
1. Walk On The Wild Side
2. In Jonah Town (first draft)
3. (Where Is My) Space Puppy? (second draft)
4. Jolene's Inferno (alt. melody)
5. Dennis O'Bell & The Laughs (first demo)
6. Being Purple (second demo)
7. Jawbroken (second demo)
8. Indoor Waterpark (first vocal demo)
9. Pillar In Persepolis (new chorus test)
10. 99 Luft Einkaufstasche / Santa's Bday (vocal demo)
11. Stigmata For Sale (vocal demo)
12. Pre-Storsley (original demo)
13. Bone Comb (vocal demo)
14. Why Don't We Do It In The Road?
Recorded between November 2008 and June 2009, here are 14 songs in various stages of completion. Notable if only to hear "Pre-Storsley", which was cut from Let It Been. "Why Don't We Do It In The Road" is also worth the price alone. Picture by Ryan Walter Wagner.
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Baby Control l Babies
1. What Babies Do
2. In My Forest
3. Live Animals
4. Cuts
5. If You See Me, Pretend You Don't
6. What Babies Do (Reprise)
Here's an EP that Baby Control made in 2005 and never released, due mostly to apathy and forgetfulness. Recorded about six practises into being a band, it's really not half bad considering it is practically half bad. Mark hadn't yet joined so his trademark faux-ineptitude is missing but the slack is picked up nicely by Chris' "drumming". Features a Snoop Dogg synth lead on one song by Gang Violence's Rob Andow and artwork literally torn out of a piano for beginners book.
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The Buzzing Bees l Beep! Beep! I'm A Jeep
1. Two Sorta Bad Ones Make One Kinda Good One
2. You Have A Case Of Misplaced Rectum
3. Seven Dwarf Orgy
4. Hail To The Bees
5. We're Drowning In Assholes
6. Ketchup! For Fries' Sake
7. We All Laughed At Your On-line Diary
8. Gunther Overboard
9. Let's Go Bark At Girls
10. Sorry, I Was Too Busy Being Awesome
11. Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue
Recorded in the summer of 2003 by the always great Jesse Gander and released by Mockingbird Records in 2004, literal handfuls of people ran out of their parent's garages in hopes of finding a copy in their nearest used CD store. How many were successful? You are asking the wrong person. Art on this one is by Andy Dixon and features the desecration of a great painting by Joyelle Komierowski.
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The Buzzing Bees l You'll Wish You Were Deaf
1. I May Have A Bad Attitude But It's Better Than Your Hair
2. Sorry, I'm Deaf In Both Ears: Please Talk To My Shovel
3. If Someone Offers A Penny For Your Thoughts, Ask To See The Penny First
4. Nice Track Marks, When's The Race?
5. Your Teeth Are In My Shoes And They're Smiling At Me
6. Sometimes I Doubt Your Commitment To Sparkle Motion
7. Mother Nature: The Old Person Microwave
8. I'm Sorry You're A Moron And All Your Friends Do Coke
9. We're Right Behind You, Swollen Gunther
10. Bite The Curb - It's Vegan, I Swear
11. What To Do With The Lazy Carcass
Kids love long song titles. Please see above. This one was recorded by Mr. Casey Lewis in the summer or fall of 2002. Mockingbird Records released it in 2003. A friend told a promoter that The Buzzing Bees sounded like Cap'n Jazz and American Football. The promoter asked how fair his comparisons were. You, too, can now be the judge. I bet you'll never guess who did the art on this one.
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The Buzzing Bees l "I should like to cuddle you; but I cannot, you are so horny and prickly."
1. One Foot In The Grave, The Other In Your Mouth
2. Brett Gunther Wouldn't Harm A Fly Because He'd Rather Harm You
3. Denial Is Just A River (bonus track)
Recorded in January of 2002, this was The Buzzing Bees' first time in the studio and, well, it shows. From the questionable inclusion of a sound clip from 2001's America's Sweethearts to the arduous length of the songs, the band was clearly still learning. Still a fair bit of fun though, in a glorified demo sort of way. It was put out by The Burning Season in 2002 on 500 honey-colored 7" records and featured artwork swiped straight out of a Crispin Glover book (literally). The band re-recorded "Brett Gunther Wouldn't Harm A Fly Because He'd Rather Harm You" when they'd simply ran out of songs for their second full-length and smartly trimmed the title down a tad. "Denial Is Just A River" appears here for the first time.
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The Corta Vita l Self Titled EP
1. An End Composition
2. By The Way Your Blouse Is On Backwards
3. Your Five Is My Six
4. Montreal
5. Plastic & Wire
6. Love Letter To Metropolitan Center
The Corta Vita's swan song, recorded in Glenn's basement in January and February 2004 by Chris. The songs on here are great despite the shoddy production value and I'd still mosh to it in my room if I could remember how to mosh. Calgary's song titles were evidently starting to get a bit shorter by this point, a fact that itunes will thank you for. Somewhere around 100 copies of this EP were made and featured fantastic silkscreened cover art by Pisha Crombie, recreated here in the way that only a JPG can do.
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Fornix l ew e ew ah ah bada bada bing bang
1. Sex With Satan
2. The Fornix
3. Cough It Up
4. Piggy Back
5. Lock 'n Key
6. Wrecking Crew
7. Solid Hell
8. Loose Lips
9. Paper Chain
10. Beauty Sleep
11. Very Ape
Please come back, Fornix. A very short lived band that couldn't possibly look any less like they sound, Fornix never played a show outside of Vancouver. They were our little secret but luckily, a secret that recorded every song they knew before Jessica, their ringleader, moved to Toronto to (presumably) try out for Broken Social Scene. Eleven proto-metal grunge anthems in less than fifteen minutes, I guarantee they could maybe be your new favorite band.
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Gilligan Starship l October Demo
1. Now I Know Now
2. This Cold
Here we have a two song demo recorded in Montreal over two days in October 2009 by Shane Patrick Murphy under his clever moniker, Gilligan Starship. Finally Quebec's most underrated city can be known for more than just The Dears and Mordecai Richler. Anyways, a team of advertising moguls spent just over six months in meetings and on facebook (using the instant messaging function) to hash out an equally clever title to accompany Mr. Murphy's two songs. Ladies and gentleman, they came up with _October Demo_. One of the moguls hasn't had a job since he thought up Clear Pepsi so please be gentle. The entire budget was spent on coming up with the title so Shane's partner in crime, J Muzik, took a picture on his cell phone for the cover. As for the songs themselves, they rule and you'll agree if your favorite singers couldn't sing.
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Slow Kids Playing Fast l A Last Hooray
1. If You Could See Yourself Now
2. Song For A Friend
3. Pudding & Pie
4. Last Generation
5. First Class Chump
6. You Suck, Dummy
7. Socks And Rocks
8. Betrayed
9. An Awkward Hello
The second tape Slow Kids Playing Fast released in 1998, I'm pretty sure the original run was in the neighborhood of 90 copies. Not changing their name was probably a bad move as they decided emo with typical random angsty outbursts was their true calling on this release and only even bothered pretending to be fast on a couple of the tape's nine tracks. Their friend Bryce recorded four of these songs in his basement, the rest were once again done by the same disinterested engineer that recorded their first tape in his trailer. This tape doesn't hold up as well as their first, the band apparently had never heard of "digital clipping" and it sometimes gets in the way of the songs, which are about as memorable as you'd expect coming from people between the ages of 15 and 17.
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Slow Kids Playing Fast l My Mom Says I'm Punk
1. Jizz On Blowpop
2. Loss Of Trust
3. David O.E.
4. Highschool Hierarchy
5. Socks And Rocks
6. The Life And Times Of Jerry Springer
7. Cool People = Sucky
8. The Adventures Of Thrasher And Longman (bonus track)
The first of two tapes Slow Kids Playing Fast released in 1998, the band never quite lived up to its name in sound but came close with titles like "Cool People = Sucky" and "Jizz On Blowpop", a reference I still don't understand despite having made up the title myself. Recorded and mixed over the course of five or six hours at a recording studio inside a trailer, the engineer was so enthusiastic about the project that he simply let the tape roll and left to make lunch. Undaunted (and unaware this was not usual procedure), the band powered through every song they knew and then made 35 copies to sell at shows they'd only find out they were playing when they'd see their name on handbills (true story). An instrumental recorded during the session, "The Adventures Of Thrasher And Longman", appears here for the first time.
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